Are YOU Running an Unconscious Program?
Updated: Dec 18, 2019
Have you noticed one of the unconscious programs running it’s insidious threads throughout the fabric of our society? It masquerades as something lovely, as something positive, even as something which ‘makes the world a better place’. It’s a program which is installed in many of us, from childhood. It is the program which tells us to be ‘nice’, to ‘get along’, to be a ‘good’ boy or girl.
On the surface, we might say, ‘well isn’t that a great thing’? Well, yes…there does seem to be a positive side to The Nice Program. It seems to mean that people are kinder to one another. It seems to mean that life is more peaceful. It seems to mean that the world is a safer place. But when we dig deeper, do we find that those concepts are actually true?
The operative word here is ‘seems’. Because the positive effects of this unconscious programming, are in fact, superficial and illusory. When we are trained not to speak up, not to be authentic, not to have our own opinions, all that happens is that our own sense of self becomes pushed underground into the shadows and from there, it begins to fight for it’s own existence.
This will show up as a friend who doesn’t feel able to share their feelings honestly with you, and instead talks with others about you behind your back. This will show up as a child who can’t tell you the truth for fear of punishment and will instead rebel against you in unspoken ways. This will show up as the partner who doesn’t know how to communicate their issue with you and instead behaves passive aggressively.
So, what seems on the surface to be a positive program, is in fact highly insidious, causing toxic relationships and communities which appear superficially to be wonderful.
In this way, The Nice Program is the underlying foundation of abusive families, church groups, work situations and government organisations. We are, in effect, trained to be judge and executioner of our own inner being and subsequently, also those of others.
The Nice Program will then cause our shadow self to project on to others who dare to break the rules. There becomes a split in perception. If someone is not ‘nice’, then they are ‘nasty’. If someone is not ‘good’, then they are ‘bad’. If someone does not follow the program, then there is something wrong with them. The shadow self says that if it is not allowed to exist within ourselves, then neither can anyone else’s integrated self be allowed to exist.
But what if we all decided to bring The Nice Program into our conscious awareness and rewire ourselves to run on a healthier paradigm? What if we realised it was ok for others to be authentic without being cast from the tribe? What if we all decided to allow others to speak their truth without it being an assault on us? What if we took a moment to be self reflective when we are called on something? What if we all started to communicate transparently and kindly with one another? What if we began to understand that humans are multidimensional beings with thoughts, hopes and dreams which may be different to ours? What if we honoured and celebrated diversity and allowed each person to be utterly and entirely themselves?
In doing so, could we root out the superficiality of our connections and rebuild them into relationships of honesty, safety and belonging? Could our communities become much stronger and intentionally cohesive? Could we find our families becoming healthier as we allow mutual sharing of inner experiences? Could we begin to truly feel the unity of all life, the sense that we are connected at all levels…because we accept both ourselves and others, for who we really are?
Before we can do for others, we must do for ourselves. And this means putting the oxygen mask on to our own shadow selves and resuscitating them back into the light. This means allowing our own unexpressed thoughts to have a voice, noticing where we have suppressed our own need to be heard, unmasking our own honest wounds and discovering how they have unconsciously continued to run our lives. It means choosing to dump the program and get truly real. That is how we come into full integration of self, how our own unique soul expression can begin to shine and how we can then support others to do the same. So, what are we waiting for? :)